We knew the love couldn't last that long on The Only Way Is Essex! Episode three of series six sees a return to form with equal measurements of rows and snogs at Joey Essex's Eighties-themed party, except for Little Chris and Charlie...
Exercise and diet fever hits Essex
After last week's Sports Day, it seems exercise fever has hit Essex! Charlie King was trying desperately to become one of the lads, showing off his boxing 'skills' with Little Chris, who said, "Boxing's the way into a lot of girl's pants." Well, we haven't heard that one before. He was also offering his best advice for the bedroom. He proclaimed, "Don't think with your head, think with your penis." Hmm, perhaps he should just keep to the boxing. We're not sure Essex advice is the best to follow.
Elsewhere on TOWIE, Lauren Pope and Chloe Sims hit the gym and managed one ten-second plank. According to Miss Sims, you release "enzymes" when you exercise, which is what makes you happy. So that's what it is...
On the diet front, Bobby is on the tanning diet, which has turned him all philosophical. Drinking 14 blended carrots a day apparently eventually turns you the colour of a carrot, but all that's happened so far is some fluorescent-coloured wee and philosophising about Gemma Collins being a stained-glass window, not double-glazing? We didn't really understand that one, but perhaps we're just not smart enough to get it *gets blending some carrots*.
We thought it wouldn't be long before there were some relationship dramas hitting The Only Way Is Essex. It looks like Lauren Goodger and Tom Pearce are together after we were treated (well...) to yet more massive snogs, but not before round one of Lauren versus Lauren: the battle of the pouts. Lauren G managed to make it to episode three before having a row though, so congrats to her for that massive achievement. We know it's been hard. Having been caught out by Chloe Sims and Lauren Pope, Lauren G stormed off and turned on those famous waterworks in front of everyone by the pool (deja-vu from basically every series so far).
Earlier on, Lucy Mecklenburgh attempted to convince us all she is perfectly happy with Mario Falcone, despite continued rumours of his cheating. She sounded pretty sure, especially as she has access to his Facebook, Twitter, phone, texts, voicemail, life... (eek).
Joey Essex's party - It was acceptable in the Eighties, except he wasn't born then
Sam Faiers treated Joey Essex to a New York break just before Christmas for his birthday treat, but Joey being Joey, he didn't know when Christmas was...
After that little blip, the girls crimped their hair, Sam wore a Ghostbusters outfit like no Ghostbusters outfit we've ever seen before and Joey Essex looked even more like a Ken doll for his party, arriving on a chopper bike and declaring, "It's the eighties baby. So who wants to party?"
The weather was sunny yet again (we're really not sure where they ship the sun in from every week!), but even the sun couldn't brighten everyone's mood. Arg failed yet again by buying Joey Essex another Chopper bike, to go with the one he rode in on *awkward* before getting into a huge row with Lydia Bright, in front of Gemma.
The ladies had been having a heart-to-heart. Poor Gemma's not a happy bunny right now and Lydia genuinely seemed concerned, but Arg came in shouting horrible things that Lydia had apparently said about Gemma - mostly of course, about her weight. None of this is going to be any good for her self esteem! Classic TOWIE argument, it was pretty hard to follow with plenty of shouting and "shut-ups" flying around.
After all that drama, we needed a sit down. An equal amount of snogs and rows this week has tipped the TOWIE balance back to what we're used to! Long may it continue. Tune in for episode four of The Only Way Is Essex on Wednesday at 10pm on ITV2.