As Kate Middleton turns 30 today, we were pretty chuffed to bag an interview with the Duchess of Cambridge herself.
Well, kinda.
Here, we imagine what Kate would tell us if we were ever given the chance to talk to her. We can but dream.
Which designers do you love?
One has always adored fashion but one's favourite designer is totes Sarah Burton from Alexander McQueen. She designed one's wedding dress — it seemed to go down rather well. Rah!
[See also: Get Kate Middleton's birthday look]
[See also: Kate Middleton's 30 best style moments]
Have you ever had any fashion faux-pas?
One would totes not wear the roller-disco costume again. It was rather daring, but it was something one decided to wear when one was slightly younger. Now one much prefers pastel colours and nude shoes — now one's a Duchess, one must be a little more modest.
What's the best piece of fashion advice you can give?
One should always remain elegant and lady-like. One should also invest in a good hairdresser — the bouncier the curls, the better. Marvelous.
What music do you like?
One loves composers such as Beethoven and Bach, but one is also rather keen on pop music — the Duke and I do like to listen to Take That and Rihanna — in fact, the Duke is first up onto the dance-floor when We Found Love is played. Ellie Goudling performed at our wedding — she is rather spiffing.
Do you have any celeb crushes?
One only has a crush on one's husband, the Duke of Cambridge.
What's your favourite TV programme?
The Duke and I do enjoy settling down to watch Downton Abbey in our leisure wear. One also was rather fond of The X Factor when it was on, although one did miss Simon Cowell and Cheryl Cole during the latest series.
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